


#3

by tenmillionotters



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 17:48:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12846333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionotters/pseuds/tenmillionotters
Summary: It dashed towards him and he rose his gun, aiming straight for the head. At the start he had 10 bullets. One had stuck in Chika’s head. The second in his heart so they’d feel the same pain. The third hit the stranger right between the eyes but it didn’t stop him. So Itsuki backed away in a corner and made peace with his fate.





	#3

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Tokyo Ghoul :re chapter 151. Referencing Tokyo Ghoul :re chapter 83.

Itsuki felt his hands tremble, he was scared, he panicked. Whatever happened right now wasn’t right, there was no way he could make it out of here alive. The words were still ringing in his ears, he was disappointed in him, huh? Wasn’t he the one that encouraged him to go a little further, to dig a little deeper? 

But if it was all a lie then he’d might as well die here and take the only truth to the grave, he shut his eyes and felt his gun press against Yoshitoki’s chest. Maybe it couldn’t kill or hurt him, but if he thought that Itsuki found pleasure in any of this, he wanted him to feel the same pain in the same spot he felt right now. 

“Trigger happy, aren’t we?” 

Itsuki opened his eyes in shock as he heard gunshots and screams behind him, before he could turn around Yoshitoki had grabbed him and launched him half across the room. His body crashed into the wall, he felt the impact in his bones and he nearly threw up because to the stinging pain, what in the world was even going on? 

Noises bled into each other as everything happened too fast for his mind to process. 

_“Maru…”, he slowly brushed his hair out if his face and looked into his eyes, “You know this job comes with a certain risk right? You’re putting your life on the line.”_

_“Of course I know that,” why did he always talk to him like a child? “But I want to do what’s right, I want to protect everyone who can’t do it themselves.”_

Who were this men in the long black coats…? Judging by their movements they were well trained, Yoshitoki seemed to know them, as he was spitting insults and curses in their general direction. 

A stinging pain in his side made it hard to think, but he had to relocate his men in this mess and - 

_“That’s nobel. But what about yourself? Would you run away and leave everything behind when you’re in danger?”_

Itsuki couldn’t even make a sound, all he could do was to stare at their disembodied heads and lifeless corpses that there scattered around the room like trash. It was a cold feeling. It wasn’t a real emotion. It was hollow and numb. 

_“I can’t leave anyone who put their trust in me behind,” he blushed saying it, “I don’t want to play hero but it’s such a reassuring feeling to know that people trust me…”_

Once he could look at anything but his fallen subordinates again, his eyes met with those of one of the men in the black coats. His eyes were those of a dead man, his smile sent Itsuki in an even worse state of panic. While he doubted Yoshitoki’s intention to kill him, the primal instinct that danced and flickered in the stranger's eyes undeniably only held one meaning. 

**I will kill you.**

Should he fight back? He wasn’t the one to give up like that but he also wasn’t so stupid to think he would stand any chance against this thing, he wouldn’t even dare to call it human or person even… 

It dashed towards him and he rose his gun, aiming straight for the head. At the start he had 10 bullets. One had stuck in Chika’s head. The second in his heart so they’d feel the same pain. The third hit the stranger right between the eyes but it didn’t stop him. So Itsuki backed away in a corner and made peace with his fate. 

_“Wouldn’t you leave me behind?”, Chika smiled brightly at him, “I put all of my trust into you, after all.”_

Despite all the times he watched a ghoul kill someone right in front of him, he could never get used to the chills and horror it send through his mind to watch them rip their victims apart. This time it came to his aid. Itsuki felt blood spill on his clothes and the floor right in front of him, the eyes that were fixed on him before now truly belonged to a dead man. Almost desperate he tried to focus on whereever that saving attack came from. 

_“Why would I leave you behind -”, it almost felt like an insult, “... you’re the last person I’d ever leave…”_

It was chilling, it felt unreal. The eyes he once used to look into with so much trust and affection, were now staring at him with such a blank expressionless glare, red on black, those weren’t Yoshitoki’s eyes but at the same time they undoubtedly were the closest thing to what he would call Yoshitoki. 

_“Don’t be like that,” this time he got flustered and not the other way around, “Do you really think I could bare the thought that it’s my fault that you’re dead? I wouldn’t want to live on knowing you died for my sake.”_

There was no time for big words, no time for softness or warmth. A numbing explosion shortly distracted everyone in the room who were still capable of showing any reaction to what was going on around them. Then their eyes met again and Itsuki felt words forming in his throat but he couldn’t make a sound. 

_“Hell, what do you think how I would feel, knowing I survied because I left you behind?”, now he got angry, tears started flooding his eyes, he didn’t want to be like that but this wasn’t something he could take lightly._

If all words failed then actions had to speak for themself. 

_“Itsuki… please, promise me something,” their fingers intertwined and their heartbeats mixed up into a single mass of irregular beats, “If we’ll ever find ourselves in a situation like that you have to run. Please leave me behind… I know it’s selfish but -”_

He felt how Chika’s kagune hit him with full force, but not to hurt him. Cold air blew through his hair as he was pushed through the hole the explosion had left. The last thing he saw was how one of the men in the black coats watched him fall only to focus on Yoshitoki again, his body hit the water and he closed his eyes. 

_“But what? This is the most selfish thing you could ever ask me for -”_

Cold water soaked through his clothes, he felt his body slowly sink deeper while he cried, screamed, watching air bubbles escape his lungs. 

_“I know, I know,” he laughed before lowering his head as if he was trying to hide something from Itsuki, “It’s selfish but I don’t want to lose you.”_

There was no reason to swim up to the surface but he still did, he gasped for air and screamed his name, but he knew that he wouldn’t reply. His limbs started hurting, the icy water burned his skin and his body slowly grew numb. 

_“... okay… let’s just hope a moment like that will never come, because I don’t know what I would do without your lead.”_

Nothing mattered right now, not the lies, not the games he played. Nothing. 

_“You’ll do great, I know that. You always get back on your feet, so when the time comes that we’ll depart, do me a favour and live.”_

No goodbyes. No nothing.


End file.
